Bob Weir-by Dunkterfunk

September 5, 2008 at 3:20 pm | Posted in Arts & Entertainment, Concert Reviews, People | 7 Comments
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Bob Weir needs to hang it the fuck up! I know I will be assaulted with phatty burritos and grilled cheeses from dreaded trustafarians who have probably never even seen a Grateful Dead show, but I have to be honest.

I recently saw Bob Weir and Rat Dog open for the Allman Brothers show at Red Rocks. First off, let me submit that Bob Weir Might actually be the Gorton’s Fisherman. Exhibit A:

Second, he rocked the stage in the shortest shorts this side of the Village People. Exhibit B:

Sorry, I know that was unnecessary, but so where Bobby’s shorts.

But most importantly, Bob Weir’s performance was like being behind the senior citizen at the grocery store who stubbornly refuses to give up the outdated practice of writing checks. Bob Weir played every slow Grateful Dead song that he ever wrote, except that he played it twice as slow as it was originally intended. I swear to God, he played Lost Sailor and Looks like Rain so slow that it literally took 40 minutes just to get through them. I was this close to chopping my nuts off and throwing them at the stage just to add a little excitement to the show.

He also employed that bullshit crutch that all “beyond their prime” rockers employ when they can’t sing the notes they used to. He would kind of speak/rap the lyrics so that all emotion the song once had was flushed down the shitter (along with Bobby’s self-respect).

And to round it all out he did this for TWO FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!! Two hours for an opening act which sucked monkey balls.

When we finally got through the snooze fest and started rocking to the Allman Brothers, HE COMES OUT ONE MORE TIME TO CONTINUE HIS TORTURE UPON US!!!! It would be funny if it weren’t so sad to see Weir attempt to play a solo on the same stage with Derek Trucks and Warren Haynes. Derek jams a face melting solo into Bobby plinking through what sounds like a drunk invalid trying to play a ukulele.

Retire Bobby. You suck!

The Fucking RNC- by Dunkterfunk

September 4, 2008 at 4:41 pm | Posted in People, Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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I fucking hate the Republican Party of today.

First off, I find it interesting that their slogan is “America First”. They seem to imply that we need to move beyond politics and come together to solve America’s problems. I completely agree with this. However, It is hard to take seriously when almost every speech given is partisan. Lieberman gives this speech where he invokes Washington’s warnings about political parties and partisanship right after Fred Thompson spent 25 minutes referring to “the other side” is derogatory terms.

Apparently the Republican Party this year has forgotten the meaning of the word “irony”. They mock the term “change” and claim Obama is using it as a political tool, then they go and nominate Palin as a political tool and co-opt the “change” message for themselves. How do they represent change when they both agree with pretty much everything Bush has done? Palin even more so than McCain. At least McCain believes in stem cell research and evolution.

The Republican Party has made such an issue out of Obama’s relative lack of experience and then they go and nominate Palin who is far less experienced than Obama to be next in line behind a 72 year old who has had 4 bouts with cancer. I guess inexperience only matters if you are on “the other side”.

Last night Giuliani comes out and has the gall to call the Dems the party of Big Brother. Wasn’t it the republicans who trampled on the Constitution and allowed our government to spy on its own citizens without warrants? Isn’t it the Republicans who tried to force libraries to give them lists of people and what books they check out? Wasn’t it the Republicans who forced the telecom companies to hand over phone records of U.S. citizens? I am going to send Rudy a dictionary with “irony” highlighted.

The Huckabee comes out and says, “”Maybe the most dangerous threat of an Obama presidency is that he would continue to give madmen the benefit of the doubt. If he’s wrong just once, we will pay a heavy price.”  I would like him to qualify that statement. Has Obama not made it perfectly clear he would aggressively hunt terrorists? If he is referring to Saddam, i think it is abundantly clear that invading that country has trained a whole new generation of jihadists, who may not have hit us yet, but will. Just as the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan trained a whole generation who would hit us 11 years later.

But this really was what the convention was all about. It was a worn out page from Karl Rove’s playbook. Scare Americans. Make them believe that voting for a democrat if going to bring ruin and destruction upon us all. I heard absolutely no substance on what they would actually do (which by the way is what they slam Obama for). All I heard was the same thing Bush has been doing for 8 years and they claim to be about change. They basically talked about the same old trickle down theory. Well guess what? 8 years of trickle down hasn’t worked. We have had modest growth in the economy but wages have remained flat. From what I have read, the same thing happened in the 80’s when Reagan tried it. They also talked about a hands off approach to business. Well look what happend in the mortgage market when you leave companies completely to regulate themselves.

They talked about “winning” the war in Iraq when at the same time the Iraqi government is saying they want us out. They are a party who shits all over our American values by saying, for the first time in our history, that it is okay to invade a sovereign nation because they may at some point in the future be a threat to you.

The only change I see mentioned is brushing off partisan politics, but they say this out one side of the mouth while saying out the other side that the Dems will bring ruin upon America.

And Americans are generally afraid so this will work again as it did in 2004. It will be a close race where enough people are scared to try something new and go with the same strategy of giving everything to the top tier and hope they will be generous enough to let it trickle down to the rest of us in the form of good wages and health-care instead of keeping it in bonuses and stockholder dividends. We will continue to take an aggressive stance with our friends and rule through intimidation and fear and create ever more enemies around the world. We will continue to see people die of treatable diseases because Republican ideology  assumes if you don’t pull yourself up by your bootstraps then you deserve to die. We will continue to have an America where it is okay to discriminate against gays and Muslims.  And hopefully McCain won’t lose his temper and get us involved in yet another war.

About Sarah Palin – From an Alaska native

September 4, 2008 at 3:52 pm | Posted in People | Leave a comment
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Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin

This is from a Bryn Mawr college grad to her fellow alums
Dear classmates –

As an Alaskan, I am writing to give all of you some information on Sarah Palin, Senator McCain’s choice for VP. As an Alaska voter, I know more than most of you about her and, frankly, I am horrified that he picked her.

The most accurate description of her is red neck. Her husband works in the oil fields of Prudhoe Bay and races snow mobiles. She is a life time member of the NRA and has worked tirelessly to allow indiscriminate hunting of wildlife in Alaska , particularly wolves and bears. She has spent millions of Alaska state dollars on aerial
hunting of these predators from helicopters and airplanes, dollars
that should have been spent, for example, on Alaska ‘s failing school
system.We have the lowest rate of high school graduation in the
country. Not all of you may think aerial predator hunting is so bad,
but how anyone (other than Alaska wolf-haters, of which there are
many, most without teeth), could think this use of funds is
appropriate is beyond me. If you want to know more about the aerial
hunting travesty, let me know and I will send some links to
informative web sites.

She has been a strong supporter of increased use of fossil fuels, yet
the McCain campaign has the nerve to say she has ‘green’ policies. The
only thing green about Sarah Palin is her lack of experience. She has
consistently supported drilling in ANWR, use of coal-burning power
plants (as I write this, a new coal plant is being built in her home
town of Wasilla ), strip mining, and almost anything else that will
unnecessarily exploit the diminishing resources of Alaska and destroy
its environment.

Prior to her one year as governor of Alaska , she was mayor of Wasilla,
a small red neck town outside Anchorage.The average maximum education
level of parents of junior high school kids in Wasilla is 10th grade.
Unfortunately, I have to go to Wasilla every week to get groceries and
other supplies, so I have continual contact with the people who put
Palin in office in the first place. I know what I’m talking about.
These people don’t have a concept of the world around them or of the
serious issues facing the US . Furthermore, they don’t care. So long as
they can go out and hunt their moose every fall, kill wolves and bears
and drive their snow mobiles and ATVs through every corner of the
0A
wilderness, they’re happy. I wish I were exaggerating.

Sarah Palin is currently involved in a political corruption scandal.
She fired an individual in law enforcement here because she didn’t
like how he treated one of her relatives during a divorce. The man’s
performance and ability weren’t considered; it was a totally personal
firing and is currently under investigation. While the issue isn’t
close to the scandal of Ted Steven’s corruption, it shows that Palin
isn’t ‘squeaky clean’ and causes me to think there may be more issues
that could come to light. Clearly McCain doesn’t care.

When you line Palin up with Biden, the comparison would be laughable
if it weren’t so serious. Sarah Palin knows nothing of economics
(admittedly a weak area for McCain), or of international affairs,
knows nothing of national government, Social Security, unemployment,
health care systems – you name it. The idea of her meeting with heads
of foreign governments around the world truly frightens me.

In an increasingly dangerous world, with the economy in shambles in
the US , Sarah Palin is uniquely UNqualified to be vice president. John
McCain is not a young man. Should something happen to him such that
the vice president had to step in, it would destroy our country and
possibly the world to have someone as inexperienced and inappropriate
as Sarah Palin. The choice of Palin is a cheap shot by McCain to try
to get Hillary supporters to vote for him. when McCain introduced her
today, Palin had the nerve to compare herself with Hillary and
Geraldine Ferraro. Sarah Palin, you are no Hillary Clinton.

To those of you who, like me, supported Hillary and were upset that she
did not get the nomination, please don’t think that Sarah Palin is a
worthy substitute. If you supported Hillary, regardless of what you
think the media and the democratic party may have done to undermine
her campaign, the person to support now is Obama, not Sarah Palin. To
those of you who are independent or undecided, don’t let the choice of
Palin sway you in favor of McCain. Choosing her shows how unqualified
McCain is to be president. To those of you who are conservative, I
guess you have no choice for president. But please try to see how the
poor choice of Palin tells us a great deal about McCain’s judgment.
While the political posturing inherent in the choice of Palin is
obvious, the more serious issue is the fact that the VP is, literally,
a heartbeat away from the presidency. Sarah Palin is totally and
unequivocally unqualified to be vice president, let alone president.

I know this is a lengthy and emotional email, but the stakes are high.
I thought it might help for all of you, regardless of political
affiliation, to know something about Palin from someone who has to
live with her administration in Alaska on a daily basis.

Here’s some basic background from MoveOn.org:
She was elected Alaska ‘s governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage.1
Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.2
She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000. 3
Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.4
She’s doesn’t think humans are the cause of climate change.5
She’s solidly in line with John McCain’s ‘Big Oil first’ energy policy. She’s pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won’t be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species‒she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.6
Here’s a sample of Alaskan’s responses:
She is really just a mayor from a small town outside Anchorage who has been a governor for only 1.5 years, and has ZERO national and international experience. I shudder to think that she could be the person taking that 3AM call on the White House hotline, and the one who could potentially be charged with leading the US in the volatile international scene that exists today. ‒Rose M., Fairbanks , AK
She is VERY, VERY conservative, and far from perfect. She’s a hunter and fisherwoman, but votes against the environment again and again. She ran on ethics reform, but is currently under investigation for several charges involving hiring and firing of state officials. She has NO experience beyond Alaska . ‒Christine B., Denali Park , AK
As an Alaskan and a feminist, I am beyond words at this announcement. Palin is not a feminist, and she is not the reformer she claims to be. ‒Karen L., Anchorage , AK
Alaskans, collectively, are just as stunned as the rest of the nation. She is doing well running our State, but is totally inexperienced on the national level, and very much unequip ped to run the nation, if it came to that. She is as far right as one can get, which has already been communicated on the news. In our office of thirty employees (dems, republicans, and nonpartisans), not one person feels she is ready for the V.P. position.‒Sherry C., Anchorage , AK
She’s vehemently anti-choice and doesn’t care about protecting our natural resources, even though she has worked as a fisherman. McCain chose her to pick up the Hillary voters, but Palin is no Hillary. ‒Marina L., Juneau , AK
I think she’s far too inexperienced to be in this position. I’m all for a woman in the White House, but not one who hasn’t done anything to deserve it. There are far many other women who have worked their way up and have much more experience that would have been better choices. This is a patronizing decision on John McCain’s part- and insulting to females everywh ere that he would assume he’ll get our vote by putting ‘A Woman’ in that position.‒Jennifer M., Anchorage, AK

Apple Iphone software 2.0 install issues?

July 11, 2008 at 11:49 am | Posted in Electronics | Leave a comment
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This morning I got to work and was excited to update my iphone with the new 2.0 software release. I downloaded the package only to find that Itunes returned the following error repeadedly “We could not complete your iTunes Store request. The network connection timed out.

Is anyone else having this issue? Does apple not have enough bandwidth to distribute this package? My phone is now locked up and will only make emergency calls.

Cheers to the Apple IT team for a smooth rollout :).

However, I’m pretty psyched to be able to use my iphone as an itunes remote in the house once this software is installed successfully

LR Baggs Para Acoustic D.I.

May 21, 2008 at 6:14 pm | Posted in Consumer Products, Electronics, Intruments & Gear | Leave a comment
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The LR Baggs Para Acoustic D.I. is one of the best devices you can purchase if you are playing acoustic live music with a pickup in your instrument. This little box contains a 5-band equalizer, tunable notch, presence, and midrange controls, adjustable gain, and phase inversion along with being a fully functional direct input box that allows output of either 1/4 inch or XLR to plug into the PA/soundboard. It runs on a 9 volt battery, and gets incredible battery life at that.

This box is really an acoustic musician’s dream come true. I play the banjo, and it takes what would otherwise be a harsh electric sounding tone, and transforms it into a warm, realistic, and convincing acoustic sound. It also gives you the ability to custom tailor your tone, infinitely. Depending on the PA/monitor setup, you can tweak the frequency emphasis to highlight or cut any range. Anyone that plays live acoustic music will know that most sound people usually don’t get the instruments equalized all that well. This device enables you to give them a huge head start, by passing them a quality signal that’s already EQ’d to your preference. I’d be willing to bet that they are loved as much by sound professionals as they are by the musicians themselves. I’ve seen this device used with great results for acoustic guitar, bass, fiddle/violin, mandolin, cello, accordion, etc, etc.

Durability is exactly what you’d expect from a piece of professional grade stage gear. I’d be willing to bet that it could be run over by a car and still function. I’ve seen these units after years on the road, and they are only missing some of their brown paint.

The size is also a huge benefit here. It’s just slightly larger than your average guitar pedal, which makes it really convenient to throw in a gig bag. Similar systems by other companies cost much more and require rack mounting. This isn’t to say that those other devices won’t give you better sound and more flexibility, but this box is all that 90% of stage musicians will ever need out of an EQ unit/DI box.

I really haven’t been able to find a downside to this thing over the past year and a half that I’ve been using it. I will amend this post if I have anything else to add down the road…

You can find the full line of LR Baggs products here: www.lrbaggs.com

Environment Colorado, Greenpeace, and Anyone Else With a Fucking Clipboard

May 21, 2008 at 5:22 pm | Posted in People | 1 Comment
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FuckersAs you can probably gather by now, I live in Boulder, Colorado.  Aside from being a beautiful place to live with a million things to do, we also have an outdoor pedestrian mall known as Pearl Street.  This is also where I happen to work, so I find myself out meandering on the mall during lunch. Today, Jonny Ringo and I were walking up to Chipoltle to grab a burrito, when we noticed that the enemy was upon us.

The summer in Boulder on the Pearl Street Mall is always accompanied by clipboard toting Greenpeace and Environment Colorado employees.  When you’re out trying to take a break from work, they ask you stupid fucking questions like “Do you care about our environment?” or “Do you have 30 seconds to save the earth?”.  No assholes, I don’t.  I’m on my fucking lunch break, and you’ve asked me the same question for the past 19 days straight.

Today, I told one of the chicks that I didn’t have the time to talk to her, as I was on break, and she asked if she could walk with me and Ringo.  Way to put me in an awkward situation, bitch.  You’ve already asked me your rhetorical question that makes me look like I don’t give a shit about the environment, and now you have the nerve to force me to be an asshole on top of it, by telling you that I don’t want you anywhere around me?

The City of Boulder has a law preventing panhandling on the mall. This really makes me wonder how these people are allowed to do what they are doing, considering that they need permission from the city to be out there doing this.  How the hell is what they are doing any different than a bum asking for change so that he can get a bite to eat?

Pappadeaux-Westminster, CO-by Dunkterfunk

May 8, 2008 at 4:00 pm | Posted in Restaurant Reviews, Restaurants & Food | 1 Comment
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Holy Fucking Frytastic! Bring your wallet and your difibulator cause it’s on at Pappadeaux. Pappadeaux is a Creole and Cajun themed seafood kitchen. Bacons, Johnny Ringo, the lovely Jenn and I visited this glory to gluttony one night after about three bourbon and cokes. Okay, only I had three bourbon and cokes.

We were seated and began to peruse the story of the menu. This thing was expansive! I am pretty sure Noah was in the back herding two of every animal into a vat of hot boiling oil. Despite Ringo’s worry about the chewiness of gator meat, we decided to start our feast with the fried alligator tail appetizer and the fried calamari. The alligator was not chewy at all and came with a creole dipping so good it’d make ya wanna smack yo mama! The Calamari was like biting into a soft cloud of titties. Whoever was on the fryer that night was a true artist.

At this point I was about four drinks and two deep fried appetizers in and was starting to get full. However, I was now in cajun country where 1000 calories is just getting started. Not to mention the stuffed swordfish on the wall was giving me the eye like I was some pussy who can’t handle his fried food. So I did what any man would do and ordered the crawfish platter. I was served a platter roughly the size of Rocky Dennis’ head. On one side was about 30 fried crawfish. On the other was a mess of crawfish etoufee. Separating the two like coach in a high school brawl was a heap of dirty rice. For the southern culturally deficient, dirty rice is rice with meat in it such as ground beef. Often it is chicken livers or giblets with peppers, celery and onion, however, Pappadeaux uses the less adventurous ground beef. The dirty rice was perfectly mixed in with the etoufee. It was a nice break from all of the fried food. I was actually starting to sweat peanut oil.

Bacons had the King Crab Legs which were definitely good. However, the best thing about his dish was the ingenious little device Pappadeaux provides to remove the sweet, succulent crab meat from its calcified prison. It’s a mix between garden shears and scissors and was perfect for getting through the shell without ripping your hands apart.

Jenn had the fried oyster platter. Once again, Frymaster J showed his prowess by presenting a perfectly cooked pillow of oyster goodness blanketed by a crispy, crunchy batter. Jenn actually only ate two of these as Bacons and myself assaulted her plate like a couple of chimpanzees.

After all of this our waiter had the audacity to offer dessert. We had key lime pie, but not before I asked our waiter how many customers he has seen fall out in cardiac arrest. He said he has not seen it yet, but was waiting for the day. I’m pretty sure the staff has a betting pool going on this, but I digress. The pie was a perfect cold creamy treat to settle the oil settling in our guts.

I then went home so full that I molted my skin and did not eat for 3 days. And by 3 days I mean 3 hours.

Overall, Pappadeaux delivers exactly what it promises. There were steamed, grilled and boiled options on the menu, but an overwhelming majority of the food is deep fried, just like it is in ‘Nawlins. If you prefer steamed fish and a watercress salad, then you are advised to find somewhere in Boulder. If you got a wild hair and want to strap on the feedbag then this is definitely your place.

Bill O’Reilly

May 5, 2008 at 9:28 am | Posted in People | 1 Comment
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The guy above…yeah that guy…he is a dick. Not just a small adolescent dick, but a raging, throbbing-purple-veins-exposed dick. If you watch him regularly then you are probably a dick too. Either that or you have no soul. Dick (I am just going to start calling him that for the rest of this commentary) has no soul either. Dick’s contribution to society: Scaring the crap out of simple Americans and contributing directly to the downfall of U.S media. Did I mentioned he was a dick? How did dick become a dick? Let’s see…shit-for-brains was born in New York City, went to a private Catholic high school where he was probably molested with a yard stick and then Marist College where he was a punter on the National Club Football Association. A punter! After dick graduated he played semi-pro baseball but failed a tryout for the New York Mets. He then attended Boston University and graduated with a master’s in broadcast journalism. So how did he become a dick? Well during this entire time he probably never got laid and had to drug women and men to sleep with him. He also probably developed a sense of disillusionment that he was better than everyone else and that people care about what he thought. Turns out a lot of Americans do care what he thinks. Turns out that 2.58 million people tune in nightly. Fucking morons. Yes, you heard me. If you watch him you are a fucking moron!

Turns out dick gets paid $9 million a year to do this:

Watch him slam the son of a 9/11 victim:

Now watch Phil Donahue kick Dick’s ass on his own show:

The Red Lion Inn – Boulder

April 26, 2008 at 6:17 pm | Posted in Restaurant Reviews, Restaurants & Food | Leave a comment
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This pathetic excuse for a restaurant is located in a couple miles up Boulder Canyon outside of Boulder, Colorado. I thought that this would be a good place to take my Dad when he was out visiting for Thanksgiving. Wrong. We arrived at the restaurant at 6pm, only to find out that they had “lost” our reservation. No problem, right? Not so much… We waited for over 45 minutes while people that came after us were gOne of the shittiest restaurants in Boulderetting seated. Eventually we were seated at a table for two that was virtually in a hallway. No big deal – we were both starving and happy to be one step closer to our Thanksgiving turkey dinner. We receive our menus and hear about the specials, and are ready to put in our obvious Thanksgiving order when the waitress returns. Wait, what? The coke-whore who’s taking our order informs us that they have ran out of turkey and it’s 7pm. Awesome planning, you idiots. Since then, I’ve heard that this happens about every year from others that have this same experience. I guess that they find it strange that lots of people order turkey on Thanksgiving. It’s a really strange phenomenon that’s pretty hard to predict. So, the waitress gives us our menus back and tells us that they have lots of other dishes to choose from. Aside from being unhelpful, she’s being bitchy as hell, so I take myself downstairs to talk to the manager.

The manager decides that the best way to resolve this situation is to start accusing me of having unreasonable expectations of their restaurant instead of making even the smallest attempt to resolve the situation. I asked him if they’d be willing to extend the same price of the turkey special to any of the other dishes on the menu. He snaps at me, says no, and tells me he’s going to “see if there is enough in the kitchen for two more turkey plates.”

I go back to the table, and the waitress arrives shortly after with two of the driest plates of meat that I’ve ever seen. We both got a drumstick, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy and vegetables. The turkey was inedible, and had obviously been in the oven for about 3 hours too long. Upon informing the waitress of this, she tells me that it’s what I wanted so they won’t exchange it for anything else.

Back downstairs to talk to the manager… I talked to him about getting something else in place of the inedible food that we received. He gave us the same answer that he was unwilling to replace the food with another option. My dad and I finished what we could salvage from our plates and left.

I wrote the Red Lion a letter after this night, explaining my discontent. The letter was met with no apology, a lengthy explanation of why it is unfair to be upset about the lack of customer service, and a card good for one drink at their bar. As far as I’m concerned, they can take their drink card and shove it up their asses. I will never be back, and would caution anybody about eating there.

This is not the only time that I’ve been there. The customer service is consistently beyond poor, the food is overpriced and usually poorly cooked. The wait staff and management is rude and condescending. I know people that have worked there and they say that the place is ridden with sewage issues, that often flood the kitchen. The owners have a reputation of being drug addicts, so maybe none of this is surprising. Maybe they should stick to doing lines and leave the restaurant business to the ones that are good at it.

Electra Bikes – Rat Fink

April 26, 2008 at 3:39 pm | Posted in Consumer Products, Outdoor Equipment | 1 Comment
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The Rat Fink by ElectraWith Summer being right around the corner, everyone needs a sick bike to ride to Happy Hour. Electra makes 5 lines of bikes – Cruisers, Townies, Tandems, Amsterdam, and Kids. The Rat Fink is Electra’s biggest bike in their cruiser line, and that is what is up for review this time around. First of, this thing is a cruiser, and that’s what it does… Cruises in style. The metallic green flake paint job tuns heads wherever you go. The bike is a tribute to the late godfather of custom hot rods, Ed Roth. It oozes the chopper style with ape hanger handlebars, a low slung seat, a double crown chrome fork, dice valve caps, a wheelbase nearly double that of a normal bike, and back flame accents. The build quality is great, as it should be considering the $600 price tag.

The Good: This thing has some fuckin’ style that will get you a hummer at the end of the night. The ride is comfy due to a sprung seat and big ass fat boy tires. It’s unique – you don’t see every other slob at the beach with one, so you can feel that much cooler. It’s got a three speed internal hub shifting mechanism so when you’re bringing that fat chick home from the bar on your pegs and you’ve got a hill to climb, you can down-shift and make it home before she pukes on the back of your neck. You won’t be a dildo riding around town on your mountain bike when everyone else is cruising in style.

The Bad: This sucker is heavy. I have carried it up a flight of stairs, and it’s a chore. Much better suited for flat ground than hills, but hey, it’s a cruiser. The price – not cheap, but you pay for quality and your pimp image. It doesn’t fit on most standard car bike racks due to it’s size and wheelbase – don’t plan on taking it anywhere unless you have a van. It makes you want to store it inside at all times due to the quality finish and appearance – this can be a hassle sometimes.

All in all, if you’re looking for a bike to get you laid, this just may be the one if you have the cash.

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