Bill O’Reilly

May 5, 2008 at 9:28 am | Posted in People | 1 Comment
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The guy above…yeah that guy…he is a dick. Not just a small adolescent dick, but a raging, throbbing-purple-veins-exposed dick. If you watch him regularly then you are probably a dick too. Either that or you have no soul. Dick (I am just going to start calling him that for the rest of this commentary) has no soul either. Dick’s contribution to society: Scaring the crap out of simple Americans and contributing directly to the downfall of U.S media. Did I mentioned he was a dick? How did dick become a dick? Let’s see…shit-for-brains was born in New York City, went to a private Catholic high school where he was probably molested with a yard stick and then Marist College where he was a punter on the National Club Football Association. A punter! After dick graduated he played semi-pro baseball but failed a tryout for the New York Mets. He then attended Boston University and graduated with a master’s in broadcast journalism. So how did he become a dick? Well during this entire time he probably never got laid and had to drug women and men to sleep with him. He also probably developed a sense of disillusionment that he was better than everyone else and that people care about what he thought. Turns out a lot of Americans do care what he thinks. Turns out that 2.58 million people tune in nightly. Fucking morons. Yes, you heard me. If you watch him you are a fucking moron!

Turns out dick gets paid $9 million a year to do this:

Watch him slam the son of a 9/11 victim:

Now watch Phil Donahue kick Dick’s ass on his own show:

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