Bob Weir-by Dunkterfunk

September 5, 2008 at 3:20 pm | Posted in Arts & Entertainment, Concert Reviews, People | 7 Comments
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Bob Weir needs to hang it the fuck up! I know I will be assaulted with phatty burritos and grilled cheeses from dreaded trustafarians who have probably never even seen a Grateful Dead show, but I have to be honest.

I recently saw Bob Weir and Rat Dog open for the Allman Brothers show at Red Rocks. First off, let me submit that Bob Weir Might actually be the Gorton’s Fisherman. Exhibit A:

Second, he rocked the stage in the shortest shorts this side of the Village People. Exhibit B:

Sorry, I know that was unnecessary, but so where Bobby’s shorts.

But most importantly, Bob Weir’s performance was like being behind the senior citizen at the grocery store who stubbornly refuses to give up the outdated practice of writing checks. Bob Weir played every slow Grateful Dead song that he ever wrote, except that he played it twice as slow as it was originally intended. I swear to God, he played Lost Sailor and Looks like Rain so slow that it literally took 40 minutes just to get through them. I was this close to chopping my nuts off and throwing them at the stage just to add a little excitement to the show.

He also employed that bullshit crutch that all “beyond their prime” rockers employ when they can’t sing the notes they used to. He would kind of speak/rap the lyrics so that all emotion the song once had was flushed down the shitter (along with Bobby’s self-respect).

And to round it all out he did this for TWO FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!! Two hours for an opening act which sucked monkey balls.

When we finally got through the snooze fest and started rocking to the Allman Brothers, HE COMES OUT ONE MORE TIME TO CONTINUE HIS TORTURE UPON US!!!! It would be funny if it weren’t so sad to see Weir attempt to play a solo on the same stage with Derek Trucks and Warren Haynes. Derek jams a face melting solo into Bobby plinking through what sounds like a drunk invalid trying to play a ukulele.

Retire Bobby. You suck!

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7 Comments »

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  1. Hey man. You try playing acid rock when you’re 61. How many people do you know that can have a heroine addiction for 40 years, eat more psychedelics than a hundred timothy leary’s, and go through more coke than every single soda machine in the country that can still even manage to hold a guitar. Your ears are definately not very learned when it comes to the time/spatial perception of true psychedelic rock. You know, you have to listen before the notes get there because it has to come together in time. Like the first time you listen to a song while tripping, you’re like “Wow, these notes weren’t here before”.
    And yes, I like the allman beothers too, but they never came out with anything like the dead or ratdog. If I were you, I would find a ten strip or a quarter of boomers, and grow up listening to some live dead. Yes, I said grow up, If you’ve never used more than 10 percent of your brain when trying to put together notes like bobby’s in your head, chances are you haven’t even heard half of them.
    Imagine having a friend basically show you the ways of the 60s and music and coke and whatnot. Imagine being there with him through countless voyages through space, nature and time and doing it 1 day out of 3 for 30 years straight. You and this friend, (we’ll call him uh.. Jerry) died during a time when you were trying to figure out why god has kept you alive through all this while taking most of your friends. Yeah, Bob’s dead inside. You fuc|<ing bastard.
    Now take all I've said into consideration when you rethink your decision about trashing bobby and his band.
    I guess listening to notes on a simple, second-by-second timeline is good for you if you can't hear the music. Heads aren't really supposed to reveal or talk about anything like this, but yeah, putting music together with the POWER of time. If you can't listen like that, you're just another douchebag ready to feel the wrath of the earth. I do not pity you.

    • Hey man. My days of taking 10 strips is over. Perhaps you should do the same based on your nonsensical, rage filled comment. I have been to live dead shows when Jerry was still around and their music changed my life. But I guess for some people it is absolutely forbiidden to dare to criticize them.

      Look at Neil Young. He has done plenty of drugs and still puts on an energetic, killer show.My only point being is that Bobby seems unable to bring his A game so perhaps he should not play a 2 hour opener. No need to get all raged about it. Relax man.

    • Some hippies really are as stupid as they look.

  2. Dude, you have absolutley no idea how well of a guitarist bob weir is, shove it you narrow minded piece of shit!

    • I am narrow minded because I didn’t like the show? I am a huge Grateful Dead Fan and have always loved Bobby and his playing. But this show was the slowest, most disappointing piece of shit I have ever seen.

      So sir, It is you who should go blow it out your ass.

      • Fuck you if why didn’t you take your sorry ass out of the venue then dickhead. Some of us still enjoy Bobby’s music. MOtherfucker.

  3. Apparently captain anonymous doesn’t live in the USA where we are free to not like a particular concert if we feel that the artist performed poorly that night. Dunkterfunk, maybe we should start a french blog where we don’t really say what we feel?


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